Tuesday, 21 April 2015

Look before you say 'I do!'

Hiya fam! How is the weekend going? Smooth I guess. I made a vow to my self not to touch on this topic when I was making plans for the blog during my pioneer days, simply because I wasn't married yet. *smiles* But guess what? I am not in any way in a marriage or any thing close to it but I know a few knacks about it and its recipes...*chuckles*.

You know what prompted this write up clan? It's because I am seeing more of marital houses than homes springing up these days. The free dictionary defines a home as a permanent place of residence or an environment offering security and happiness whereas a house, it defined as a building of residence. Many people entering into marriages today now see it as a place of shield from the teeming 'unmarried populace'. After being out in the cold with so many frogs, they feel they have met their prince charming or Cinderella as the case may be and they quickly delve into this journey of no return (marriage). Here, the Prince Charming is the first man to ask for their hand in marriage after being single for so many years and having all your mates married already. They just can't believe their 'luck' at being able to have the title Mrs to their name at long last.

About two weeks ago, I was on my way home in one of this Comrade buses similar to the BRTs them you have in Lagos, I saw something happen just along the express that touched me like Jesus did. Why we were stuck in the traffic, I got busy with my phone to while away time and to forget about the stinging heat that was raging the bus. All of a sudden I was hearing some 'eeeh!' and 'ehya!' from the passengers. I raised my head to see the cause of their un pitiful pity, there just across the road I saw a man pouncing one a woman like a boxer, probably his wife, men around tried to restrain the man from beating her but he wouldn't have it, he broke free from them and continued smashing into the face of the young lady now lying flat on her back. Then I saw a little boy of about 5years carrying a baby barely a year old come close to the woman, as soon as the men around could wrestle the man away the woman stood up with so much speed, carried the baby from the little boy and jumped into a Land Rover Jeep packed near the scene. It seems she auto locked the car door to her side 'cos when the man tried to open it, it wouldn't bulge. Then he went around the passenger door and continued pouncing on the woman with the baby in her laps. The woman eventually drove off crying as she drove away. Emotional me, I couldn't help it I cried quietly for her and her little lad.
*Sigh* So how did she end up in such a violent marriage. Erm, did they not court *who ever named it that sef*. Yes they did, whether for one day or 10 years, meaning he never showed signs of a boxer to her all this while during courtship, or she has been experiencing beatings like this before they wedded but choose to ignore the signs because she feels she can 'change' him overnight like bus conductors cut change?

Even though there are pressures from family and peers everywhere or even the age factor, I feel it is your right to choose wisely. Don't start what you can't finish because of shame and money. I feel it will be a greater shame to be divorced from your husband than to be unmarried. This world is too short or long for that. Look before you leap!

Stay Safe!


  1. Hmmmmm....you are so right on this.
    Marriage is a life time contract,its imperative one looks into it deeply before signing the contract
    A broken relationship is a million times better than a broken marriage, pls look before you leap

    Longest time Rella. Are u back already?

    1. Jummy yeah since last weekend... how are things going with you? Thanks thanks for taking time to read.

  2. Good bless you Rella for this post.

    Physical abuse or cheating, i really cant say which i detest most in a relationship but I really cant sand it when a man beats up his partner...show how weak he is.

    Believe me, most of these men beat their partners when they were courting but the women chose to ignore it because they are blinded by "love" or for fear of starting over again with another man. Pressure from families and friends aint helping either.

    Ladies, if he hits you once while you were courting and you stay, he will hit you again and again. Marriage these days be scaring single girls like me **sigh**

    Please click on my name for Fashion/Fitness/Beauty tips

    1. Pat dear, your last paragraph sums everything up. I don't know how anyone can stay in an abusive relationship. See ehn don't be scared. Prayer does it for us!

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  4. People court but the beast that was lying fallow during courtship usually rears it head during marriage. Ladies shine ya eyes and look before you leap......

    1. That's true, some people will be all nice and cool and later show a new side after marriage. It is well...


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