Monday, 25 May 2015

Tales: My Naija weddings

Hiya lovelies! Can't believe we just entered a new week, last week was like a blur to me, can't really figure how I spent the hours but I know for a huge part, my head was buried deep in my new project am working on and the calculations are out of this world. Hence my absence here for a while now.. first, wishing you all a happy new week and I pray it be productive and fun filled for us all.
So I have been going round some blogs and virtually everyone seems to be talking about weddings! Yes weddings as in Naija weddings.. before I start my near rant let me let you all know I went to one of these arrange 3 canopies inside one community primary school field kind of wedding reception early this month and mehn it was da bomb! As in since I hardly eat anything at wedding venues, I was just packing all the packaged rice that was coming my way, drinks were rolling in like mad.
Sourvenirs (China wares) were coming my way like nails to magnet. Mehn I was just smiling sheepishly throughout my time there. At first, I was so reluctant to go.. my friends from school who lived in Benin were all calling me to come. But the invitation kind of came late, late afternoon, they said they tried to reach me the day before but my number was not available. 
This is another Warri wedding I went for during my school days 
I figured the time it will take me to take a quick shower, dress and make up and knew it would be like evening before I got there. Eventually I went after much cajoling and promises from my friends who were all males. They promised to take me somewhere to get stuffs they know I couldn't resist (sharwama, barbecue (matured catfish oo and chocolates) after the close of the wedding. Just the thought of that day is making me smile like a Cheshire here, lolz. Okay that day was good..

But except for that wedding the remaining few I have been to have been near catastrophic. That's how I form smart, use my feeding money in year two for one full week to buy is it Aso-ebi abi bridal train I can't remember but sha we are like those pretty damsels who throw erm 'foam spray' and shiny shiny at the bride and groom. My BFF who knew the lady who was getting married told me and the other girls we were paying that exorbitant amount because the Indian wear was coming straight from India. The moment I heard India, my ears stood erect like a dog's, I paid sharply though up till today I still owe that lady 1k because I was angry and didn't have any money then. The moment I saw the long fat over voluptuous maxi skirt and Delta women blouse they sew for us with our names tagged to it like trophies, I knew for sure that I may never pay the remaining 1k, yes because they deceived me. The material they used was nothing close to the Indian wears, it was looking more like materials used in making over cheap curtains. I shouted at my friend who introduced me to the lady getting married who I have never met in my life, I told her she must have connived with her to put me in hunger. I threatened them, called the lady that I wouldn't be coming for the wedding because I just couldn't imagine myself wearing that 'buluku' of a skirt all in the name of bridal train. She pleaded and pleaded with me, also the other girls were like the 'skirt isn't that bad' and so I went for the wedding, couldn't help but frown my face throughout the ceremony at the church or Kingdom Hall (she is a witness). To top it all we sat on the second row so I couldn't gist with my friends just kpele kpele glances between us to console ourselves.
But ehn, the reception was mad, I don't know if it is because of the no drumming thing at their place of worship, because they were all dancing like there is no tomorrow, hip hop, they dance, dancehall, they dance even blues they dance! And to top it all based on Igbe dancer kind of skirt girls that we were, we were made to sit on the podium close to the couple. The chunk of cake the bride left on the tray after doing feed your husband thing vanished into our bags, drinks were disappearing from the table. My friends all said we must recover our money one way or the other. We only stopped collecting rice when our bags were filled to the point that we couldn't zip it close.. but after I ate the small servings of rice for two days, hunger dealt with me that week in school and I promised my spirit that I wouldn't try that rubbish again..buy Aso-ebi at an amount that could get me three good jeans!
Will bring another story from one 'who send me' wedding I went to soon.. Bye!

10 comments:

  1. Lol. You've really been through a lot. Aso-ebi is a bane on our purses. #SayNoToAsoEbi.

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  2. Lolz ROTFL will come back later to comment if I am able to get fuel at the normal price.

    Www.trendwithgloria.blogspot.com

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  3. Lwkmd....Say no to Aso ebi, we need to protest against this aso ebi of a thing o, cos e too show us pepper too much

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  4. Lol. Protest??? Jummy that's serious oo. I have only resorted to not buying at all from anyONE. Except I really feel like. Thanks ya all..

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  5. hahahahhahahahahahhahahahahahahhahahhhhahhahahahahahahahahhha GOD almighty.. Where has this geh been my entire life.. I am laughing so hard right now ehhnnn.. my eyes are literally teared up!. hehehehehehe @blues they will dance.. Rella-Rella.. ya not just well shhaaa.. Chisos! heheheheheh kai! So you used ya pocket money to buy Aso- Ebi from India or shoud i say "Ndi-Abia" hehehehe Mehn! Ya just Epic Bubba... You are a real Blessing Bae... I dunno what else to say.. ya not just well in a good kinda way... Thanks for making my day Bubba.. heheh

    **Oya lemme confess... As i was Blog Trolling ehn.. i just couldnt wait to get to your name on my Diary,... and my it was worth the excitement.. Cheers Bubba.. :) Thank you for always making us ya disciples smile.. You Rock Bae..

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    1. Lolz Duru ya never dead serious at all. Always your bubbly self with your rib cracking comments.. Me always love having you around here.

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  6. Replies
    1. Welcome to The lighthearted people's blog Lucky! Glad to have you here

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  7. Loool we all have one story or the other about naija Weddings. How are you dear?

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    1. Am fine dear, it's been a while I heard from him even over at your crib. Hope all is well sweet

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