Funny how these days close pals and family think of me as a weird one. Seriously not laying any blames 'cos it's cool to say they were trying to protect me, but I have to stay truthful.. The same set of people who told(beat) me to stay away from guys because they won't be of any good to me are the same folks who are giving me the side eyes now because they aren't seeing any one around, not even a knock on the door from any guy 'popping in just to say hi'. Ohh! I remember I am now of 'marriageable age' that's if am not behind it already. I see the fears in mama's eyes, I guess she is still thinking: Does my girl still hold that crazy notion in her head about men?
..A strange fear came over me last night, I couldn't sleep throughout the night, In my panic I quickly switched on my mobile and started to peruse over some pages on the net just so I could get my mind off the disturbing thoughts. Thank goodness for the world called internet. It really helped. When I narrated my ordeal to my family this morning, some said I have lost touch with Jesus, others said I needed a man in my life..hehe. But I have got enough men in my life I argued, "no sister you need a real man", my elder sister said with the same tone and stress on the 'real man' like she always does as if that's capable of driving her words down my medula oblonganta.
.. I am a soul with a part called the body, am not a body with a soul. All this week, I have been more conscious of this soul than usual. My soul has been watching me more intently than it use to, strangely enough, it does not judge, prick or criticise me like it use to. It merely watched. I can hear it say to me loud and clear: Let me let you be and see where you end up. Oh soul! I know you too well, you can never let me talk without you analysing nor preach without you judging. All these: your silence and no criticism is a little charade of yours. You just want to see how far I can go without you.. Well watch
The musician knows when his instrument is well honed, the potter knows when his clay is of finest quality, the painter knows when he has found a good model, I say a human knows when he is filled with euphoria!