Thursday, 25 June 2015

Mind over Matters

Once upon a time, there lived a beautiful bird, his feathers were all glossy like it kind of got some good brushing from a horseman and his colours were a perfect match, arranged like a beautiful work of art. Whenever he flapped his wings and flew, he got both the envy of other birds and the admiration of humans. He brought joy and awe to everyone who saw him.
I know this bird is far from my description.. 

One day, a human (woman) saw this bird and fell in love with him. She will sit outside her house and watch him fly in all his glory. His flights across the open skies always got her excited, she loved his freewill and ability to do whatever he wanted, to go wherever he pleased.
One day, she invited the bird into her home, and he came.. it was a beautiful meeting, she admired and celebrated him with everything she had. And the bird seeing he could be as free in her home like he always was in the sky loved this woman in return. He inwardly made a promise to always come visit her everyday. He kept that promise.

Then one day, the woman thought: what if one day this bird never comes back, what if one day I cease to be his muse. She became filled with fear and envy. Then she thought to her self: I will make sure I make him stay forever with me the next time he visits. I will set a trap for him and put him in a cage so he can live with me here in my home.

And so the next day before he came the woman set a trap for him, the bird flew in unknowingly in his usual spirit of happiness and love, he fell into the trap, he was trapped in the cage.. and from that moment things never remained the same for the woman and the bird.

While she was more happier than ever, the bird became solemn, he would hide his face in his body and refused to look at the woman. But then, the woman's happiness began to dwindle because her source of happiness was not happy anymore, the bird will sit there in the cage and sulk all day. His glossy feathers began to fall off, now that the woman had the bird at her beck and call, her interest in the bird  began to wane off, she no longer had to woo the bird to stay, she diligently fed and cleaned his cage all the while tying him to a leash.

And one day, the bird Died. The woman cried and cried until the crying became unhealthy for her. She repeatedly asked her self where did I go wrong? I gave him all my love and heart, but she failed to ask her self: What didn't I do right? . For if she had searched deeply, she would have seen that the things she had loved most when she first saw him flying with reckless abandon above was his FREEDOM.

Just like this woman and the bird, so are many relationships today.. you meet a man, he loves hanging out with his friends (male and female), he loves going to the club on weekends, that is his own way of unwinding all the work stress. He loves doing one thing or the other and you were okay with it. You get married and from no where envy creeps in, you become afraid he will get a mistress from one of his many nights out someday and then you try to cage him at home, you threatened and use all manners of tricks a woman's got. He starts getting frustrated, and start thinking, am not happy, she is not happy anymore too, so let me try and make her happy at least. He now stays at home but he is never happy, you on the other hand is now happier than ever, now you are sure of your man being with you till the end. Situation gets so worse for him that he now picks on anything you do, you become unhappy too.

Hello clan!!! Sometimes, such relationships /marriages end in divorce, that's bad. See it's as simple as this: what you can't take later on, don't tolerate at the initial stage just because you need a ring. Human weren't born with remote controls so don't think you can control them. Don't play blind eye to your man's or  lady’s ways that doesn’t please you because you feel you can make him or her change. On the other hand, if you decide to leave with their ways which does not really please you, be careful because then envy, jealousy or fear may make you turn Dragon lady in your home even without you realizing it.

P.s: I know there is no perfect  being, we all have our flaws, but we all can't deny that there are flaws which are way too 'flawish' and such could be detrimental to a home or relationship.

What do you think?
Please unlike the last post, someone should please agree with me for once biko..


  1. Yyyyaaayyy.. I am first to commet... Yyyyaaayyy.. i neFer hexSpeRRed it... :) Ooosshheey Turn uP.

    1. hehehehehehhe Okay the last P.S had me giggling.. But wait oh! inshort in Oga Stan's voice Hold on!!! Oh no! Where did my Funny Rella go?! Hehehehe Just kidding bae.. I love this one too.. This one who thinks deep and subtle things.. I looooovve this Rella toh sure too... Baby mi.. I will have to say that this is one of the top 3 posts i have read all June.. and the crowd goes... Yyyyeeeaah mehn... I mean it is so apt and relatable to.. and for once yeah Bubba.. for once.. I appreciate the fact that you accepted we guys for what we are and what we can be...

      You know yeah.. It eezz not easy geRRing married nor in a ghen ghen relationship.. I mean finding the geh sef is hard for some of us.. **Crying in Spanish... When in yeah... I mean its demanding.. as you have to respect your other half in absence and when present.. But like it is for me.. I can be so much of a twat and skirt chaser (its actually fading sha)... but when i give you my heart.. It eeezz cause you deserve it.. And no matter what i do.. I will love you forever like it is with Jilda.. Bae i think its unfair for a woman to restrict a guy cause of the relationship.. But thinking out Loud Rella-Rella.. If my woman was clubbing.. I wouldnt be comfortable either.. Cause I am a jealous nigga like that.. so on the long run yeah.. I guess it all falls to both parties,... What you wont like to be done to you.. Dont do to your significant other.. Its well Bubba.. NoboRRy ever knows it all as regards Dating, love and sex.. But we learn along the way.. And the crowd goes... Yyyyeaahh mehn... Thank you for this post Bubba.. It was a clear water with so much wisdom.. Ehennn?! So Rella's brain is ghen ghen like this.. iTrip more bikonu.. **Winks and then **Wears Mr. Nigeria smile.. :)

  2. Gosh! Sister this couldn't have been more written.. wait a minute, are you trying to mirror my life like you know what's happening now. Thanks for this but the men need to start taking chill pills already because theirs is beginning to get out of hand.

  3. I totally agree with you on this one. Thanks for sharing dear

  4. True word Rella. Sometimes freedom is the key. Personally i don't like choking anyone. I love to have my space..

  5. Duru you are one amazing and funny young man, I write according to my mood especially when the mood last for days, so there you have it.. thanks for your time here, and it is an honour to have one of my post as your top three of the month. Like that I haff feel on top of the world. Thanks!

    Hi Tracy I know I know you *winks*. Thanks for stopping by.

    Jummy thanks for agreeing with me. Mutual Agreement between humans is not easy!

    Aww, thanks Gloria, you said it all. Freedom it is.

  6. Rella you're one wise young lady. I should come and sit at your feet and learn from you.

    1. Tomi' dear, am learning from you all. Wash me more!


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